My Wife Won’t Fuck Me but Her Sister will
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Transcript
Oh yeah? Yeah, how's it going? I'm getting stuff at Susie, are you? No, just a dinner for me tonight. She's a great work. Okay, I thought I saw you poking over here. I've been trying to get into Susie the last couple of weeks, but I haven't been able to do... I think she's busy, yeah, just with this... I'll be the new role, because they've promoted her, haven't they? Yeah, I don't see her anymore. Okay, all right, well, when she's back, give me a call and we'll sort something out. Yeah, yeah, sounds good. You're looking well. Thank you, yeah, it's just me as well tonight. Oh, nice. I've had a busy couple of weeks. Lovely. But not in the same way it's been on the dating sites. Oh, having fun, are we? But yeah, it's been, yeah, it's been available. Okay, so that sounds... All right, well, you can tell me about it sometime. Yeah, okay. Well, I know I'm always asking you, but it has been a while, but do you think maybe you'd be able to come round later? And maybe there's just something with the... I don't know what's going on under the sea. It's just been making me weird. It's just a really weird noise. Yeah, go on then. You will? Yeah, go on then. Okay, I'm sorry, I know, but you're practically my DIY man and I can't afford to call anyone in at the moment. You know what I'm like? I leave it and then it ends up a big problem, so... Yeah, all right, no worries. Yeah, about 7 o'clock? Yeah, perfect. All right then, I'll see you there. Yeah, okay. Ta-da. I saw you come in. Hello. You had to park round the back, did you? Yeah. Okay. It's a bit of a war, isn't it? It's one of the things that I hate. I thought you weren't going out tonight. You look... I don't know. I had a delivery and I was just trying it out. Do you like? Yeah, yeah, that's good. Yeah, it's a whole new outfit that I ordered because, yeah, I'm going out. I'm sort of going out so much and I don't want to wear the same thing. No, of course not. But yeah, so I'm glad you like it. It's got to seal up pretty well. So you're having trouble under the sink, you said? Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's just making really cogging, like, chugging and gurgling of some planking. Sounds like water pressure. I'll have a look. I'm not a plumber, but... I know. I thought you could just look at it. I was just... You know, I always leave it too late and then I end up spending a fortune. So I thought, well, it's just a little bit of an issue. Maybe you could sort it out. Yeah. But yeah, I'll let you have a look. But yeah, it's not particularly clean. Sorry. I'll pull some bits out. OK. All right. How's it going? There's a mess under there. I know. Sorry. I should have had a bit more of a clean if I'd had more time. But is it anything major? I don't think so. I think you see it was a garment. Maybe you just need a new o-ring. OK. So that's something you'll have to come back for, isn't it? No worries. OK. Do you want a drink? Yeah, I'll have a coffee. Come on. Have a glass of red with me. I can't. I've got to drive. Oh, this one's not going to hurt. Come on. Just the one then. OK. Grab a glass. Put too much in. Sit down. So how have you been finding it? Having the house to yourself more often recently since Susie got promoted. It's quite nice having a bit of peace and quiet, isn't it? You do. Don't know. You don't tell me I said that. I bet she thinks you're there moping. So tell me what you've been up to then. Oh, yeah. I've got to be a little bit, I don't know, a bit coy with Susie because you know what she's like. She's so prude. Oh, yeah. I don't know her. So use that case. Oh, sorry. So, yeah, I've, I've not told her everything. According to her, she thinks I've just been on the one date with, well, a few dates with the same person. But, you know, that's just not how women date these days, you know. If you put all your effort into one person, then how do you know who's right for you? You're just going to assume you make it fit, don't you? You make a square peg fit into a round hole. So I've been just dating a few guys at once sort of pitting them against each other. Seeing, you know, because I want the full bag. I knew it all. I'm fucking out. You remember, you know, I know Dan was a really nice guy, but who's a terrible, oh, yeah. You guys know that. I mean, it drove me crazy. So I'm not, I'm not falling into that again. He has to be an all-rounder this time. So, yeah, I've been having some fun with that, but don't ask easy. She'll think I'm such a slut. You know what she's like. No, I won't tell her. But it's all right for you guys. I mean, I know that she gets on about me with these things, but when you're in a relationship, you get it on tap. It doesn't really work like that. You can have it whenever you want it. Unless, I forget we're talking about Suzie. I mean, she was furious when she realised she'd been masturbating that one night. She told me all the facts. Did you get into huge trouble over that? Yeah, I'm not allowed to touch myself anymore. Oh, but you do in secret, surely? Oh, that made me laugh. She, yeah, when she phoned me, she told me that it was time to mount cheating, basically. She didn't like you watching the porn, especially. But so hopefully you've learned your lesson. I just assumed, you know, I told her, you know, you can restrict him from that as long as you're offering it up to him when every month's in. But she's not really at home much in the evenings now, so I can do whatever I want. So, I'm surprised she hasn't put a lock on the internet, to be honest. I've got my own laptop on her. Imagine if she knew, she probably got secret cameras around your house knowing her. She'd be furious. But no. Oh, not more wine. Oh, why not? I've opened a bottle on that. You're not going to let me finish it on my own, are you? No, but I've got to drive, aren't I? Well, just, it'll be fine. We'll sort that out after. You can always get a taxi or something. Yeah, okay. So, when he stood up, he must have been about four foot twelve, and I realised that's exactly why you haven't stood up to greet me. Actually, she does. That is, that is the same. Anyway, I need to go for, let me, maybe a minute. Turn the TV on if you like. Oh, it's probably best. I should probably be going now. I can't go now. I'm speechless. Do you still want to go? I should. Do you want to? Let me see that again. Do you still want to go? I think I should stay a little bit longer. Technically. I'm not watching any porn, so you're doing exactly what Suzy wants. I was just going to say, don't tell your sister. That was your fault.